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March 21 HiWell I'm writing here again just to do some writing here. I'd swear, the little amount of time I spend on here at all, you'd think msn would shut it down on me. How are you all doing? Alright, that's great. I'm well enough. I got a new pair of glasses and now my brother's watch is beeping somewhere and it's disturbing me! Ah... it stopped. Anyways I'm well enough. I was sick a little while ago. Chills, fever, all that crap. For lent I gave up picking movies. Keep that in mind I could still watch whatever came on tv or what my family chose. If i would have given them up altogether, I'd be dead.
Well my woodstove is being a pain and so is my keyboard. it keeps skipping letters on me, don't ask me why, nothing got spilled on it and it was like that when I first bought it. I'm going to get a new one, this is ridiculous. Piece of crap. I'm watching my language today, good friday and all. I have a new idea for a story but it's still touch and go. I'm not in much of a mood to write lately, but it will pick up. My page that had my starters got lost, which sucks because I had my names on it and everything. They were good sounding names too. That sucks. This keyboard is driving me nuts.
I'll talk to you all later, maybe when I have something worth writing about and I'm not just rambling. Until then, SSDD. March 05 Back again.Well I did write on here since the last blog entry, you see, but I figured it wasn't worth keeping so i got rid of it. Well I'm home again, obviously. I've changed the theme of my space. I think I'll keep the title Nightmare Canyon, though. Me like. Bad news though. I broke my glasses and now I'm lucky if something more than a foot from my face is in focus. Life just seems to be looking up for me all the time I guess. I'm so lucky, don't you just envy me? I thought you would.
Well Jeff Healey(sp?) died and my mother found out this morning so now apparently we're going to play every cd my mother owns of his work. I don't mind the guy but c'mon, a little much isn't it?
But I do love Elvis Presley so maybe it's a fair trade. (I like most things made or fashioned before I was.)
Well I just wanted to update y'all. I'll be getting off the internet now and see if my mom wants it.(Internet freak). If she doesn't then I'll do some writing. I have a new idea which I just love. I hope it works out. See ya. And remember: SSDD. January 30 Gone for four days. I'm simply writing here that I won't be on MSN for four days since I'll be at my cousin's. No please, don't cry, I'll be back soon. Again, I'm going to try writing on here on a more regular basis but I just don't seem to have the initiative let alone the want to do it either. Anyways check y'all later. November 29 TiredI am so goddam tired. I know some people are thinking or even saying out loud, "Then go to sleep." That helps actually, but not in the way it should. Sleep fixes the problem of physical exhaustion which is not my problem, never will be.
I'm tired of what I've become. While I was off the internet I got a job, made some money and made some major things happen with it, and for a while I was nearly enjoying myself. Nothing really caught my attention or became important to me, I had to keep buying new movies because I get so tired of the others so quickly. I'd never say I was a barrel of laughs or very exciting or even mildly interesting. Let's face it, I'm not going anywhere by lying to myself. All I will say is I was better off than I am now. I think it's honest, though not technically fair, to say that one person was the cause of this... downward spiral. Before I met her I still don't think i was this far in the gutter. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming her. I just wish I hadn't been left behind.
I'm tired of having overwhelming cynicism and general contempt for all of mankind. I'm tired of hating a person whose face I've never seen. I'm tired of waking up and only wanting to go back to sleep because I feel I've nothing better to do. I'm tired of wanting to write and not wanting at the same time. I'm tired of having no one to write for. I'm tired of busting my ass and not even getting the smallest amount of respect for it. I'm tired of living my life as if I didn't exist. I'm nearly tired of existing at all. You people just seem to bring the best out of me. I'm tired of being filled with hatred and love and anger and sadness all at once. I'm so tired because, no matter what I do, everything seems to have the shittiest outcome, in the end, for me.
I'm just so very tired. August 14 I think my cat may be dead.I think I should have taken the dead cat i buried as a hint but I din't think it was him. He looked exactly like his mother and I didn't exactly want to go for a close up inspection of the cat's rear to see which team it was batting for. Also, Christy (I'll tell you how he got that name soon) was always in fights and he had a large amount of scratches all over him. Particularly on his face and behind his ears. This cat had none; and the last time I saw him was the night before, he had a huge fresh open wound on the back of his right ear. This time there was nothing. If that cat was the one I buried i better get my ass out there and dig him up because he's sure a fast healer.
Ok now, Christy showed up at our house just before christmas, hence, Christy. I heard a high pitched meowing by a wall and checked behind a couch to see if a cat had gotten stuck behind it. While checking a small cat jumped up on the cross-beam of the picture window. needless to say i wasn't expecting it. I went out and took the little bugger in. He was very friendly for a stray, always has been. He was always hungry, we joked that he had five hollow legs. Trying to feed him was often... less than pleasant. You usually had to do a count of your fingers afterwards. he was always good though, good for the cats out here anyway. Master hunter, he once jumped off the roof and caught a bird in mid-air. He always mewled like a little kitten.
Whenever he saw me he'd immediately roll on his back for me to scratch his belly. He was such a cute little bugger. I sure hope he isn't dead. One of the best friends I ever had. Two best friends dead in the span of a month, wow, makes a person want to become a hermit. Oh well. If I don't survive this I'll die soon, and possibly happy. Check you all later, bye. August 09 Goode Old Days -By: Weird Al YankovicOh some times I think back to when I was younger Life was so much simpler then Dad would be up at dawn He'd be watering the lawn Or maybe going fishing again Oh and mom would be fixing up something in the kitchen Fresh biscuits or hot apple pie And I'd spend all day long in the basement Torturing rats with a hack-saw And pulling the wings off of flies Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days I can still remember good old Mr. Fender Who ran the corner grocery store Oh, he'd stroll down the aisle with a big friendly smile And he'd say "Howdy" when you walked in the door Always treated me nice, gave me kindly advice I don't know why I set fire to his place Oh I'll never forget the day I bashed in his head Well you should've seen the look on his face Let me tell ya now Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days Do you remember sweet Michelle She was my high school romance She was fun to talk to and nice to smell So I took her to the homecoming dance Then I tied her to a chair and I shaved off all her hair And I left her in the desert all alone Well sometimes in my dreams I can still hear the screams Oh I wonder if she ever made it home I tell ya Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days Let me tell ya buddy Those were the good old days Those were the good old days The years go by but the memory stays And those were the good old days August 08 A bunch of stuff For a while I've been in a bad mood, I find it understandable. Never mind that, but I think due to that bad mood I'm having trouble writing. The words i manage to type have barely any business seeing the light of day. Not to do with subject matter or with bad spelling, the writing just sucks... hard. And that poses a problem because, horribly bored as I am, I like something good to come of my tinkerings. In better news though, I'm now out of hell and am into Purgatory. I read a passage that says the guardian of Purgatory had killed himself. You'd need to know a whole long story before it would make sense to you why i would care about this at all. Please keep your speculations to yourself. I hope to read throught the book entirely before I have to return it. I won't be able to return it then anyway but it would still give me a feeling of accomplishment.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I have some severe problems upstairs. And you'd be right. hahaha. I'm also supposed to go over to my cousin's and watch a blood-and-guts-o-rama with her and her fiance. Can't you see me just chomping at the bit to run over there now? Blood and guts is ok but she's asking me to bring over 16 feature films. I'll be lucky if I get two hours of sleep with the schedule she's planning. I'll probably be flinching at the slightest noise when I get home. A lot of the movies, I like a lot, so it shouldn't be so horrible but still... sweet sister mother of mercy I've heard of torture methods more humane than this. Well arrividerci I'm going to just screw around on the internet for a while. See you all later dear readers. August 07 I am thoroughly bored.I am so bored, I'm actually considering taking up boxing to occupy myself. I got a set of them at a yard sale and it's just now that i figured out that i need something else to go with them. I looked it up and I see I need wraps. I'm sure if I'd watched any of the rocky films I probably would have seen that, but what can i say, sorry sylvester, I'm just not a big fan of yours. Of course if I want wraps I'll have to get them with my own money because I can about guarantee my parents wouldn't indulge me in this even if it was purely for enjoyment so here's hoping that job I applied for comes through. I got some pointers too so here's hoping they pay off. I can't find anyone around here who wants to kick my ass though. Ain't that a drag? Well I'll talk later. Y'all come back now y'hear? August 06 That Is Just GrotesqueWell I've been running this space for a little over a year now (perhaps "running" isn't the right word but never mind) and in that span I've met many lovely people, one in particular. I've also graduated from high school, fallen in love, had my heart broken (you may see that I'm not altogether healed by the title of this space) and I've written a story which everyone whose read it absolutely loves up to 95 pages. It still has a long way to go and I know there's some parts I've already written that need a lot of work but I'm mostly proud of it. I've come to thoroughly despise a person in particular and I am currently hoping for his utterly painful demise afterwhich he would be rotting in the deepest darkest pits of Hell for all eternity.
I am not in the best of moods lately (well duh) and I'm coming to the horrible realization that my love for my dearly departed is becoming poison in my veins. But how do you forget about someone you would have died for? (I know I'm alive now, there's a difference.) I'm trying to put myself in better moods and distract myself. I've got a new 3D puzzle. I think I'm missing some pieces. I'm reading Dante's works. That takes some time, but this is the third time now. I'm doing it more out of a kind of necessity than pleasure. (I know I'm sick, no need to point it out.) I'm so bored. I got a "Limp Bizkit" cd for the first time. the song "Hot Dog" was ... entertaining. I'm no prude but I believe there should be a point to certain aspects others may see as vulgar. Sometimes you just have to scream "FUCK!" to express yourself other times it's not really necessary. Same as nudity and sex scenes. Everything must have a purpose or it's just offensive, it's just grotesque. That and this one scene I saw on a movie, there was nothing offensive about it it just seem gross to me. Ok, well I'm going to shut up now, maybe I'll write more. We'll see, ciao. May 06 The world todayWe are really screwed up. We just care too much about things that don't really have much to do with us personally. I'm all for standing up for causes but unless that cause actually means something to you, shut up.
There's the war on Iraq or really any war if you think about it. you can hate the war but the soldiers/troops/what have you aren't having the time of their lives and i'm betting they'd rather be somewhere else doing something else.Give them the respect they deserve, they are risking death dying, not necessarily for you or your country not even necessarily for a good cause but dying all the same. If you have an opinion on the wargo ahead and state it but you better know the whole thing before you go spouting off. Some people may say Iraq needed help because Saddam was tyrant and he gassed all those people a while back. that's true but you have to look at the fact that the us incited them to rise up and after they got what they wanted, they left them high and dry. True he didn't have to react so harshly, but they'd betrayed him. see, know all of it.
let's go to racism/slavery. Here's what i think, everyone practices racism of one type or another. If you see a person of a certain colour and attach a race to them because of it, that's kind like racism. now if that's all you do and don't treat them differently from any other race then you're just not stereotyping them or acting discriminatory. I hate it people say they're colour blind to it, it doesn't matter if you see a person is a certain coulour if your treatment of them is based on that colour, that's what matters. Slavery: EVERY RACE HAS HAD PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN ENSLAVED AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. White people were once enslaved by black people. People have made slaves of others that were their own race, this includes almost every race if not all. please shut up I'm sorry all your ancestors went through shit but mine did too, soo i guess it makes me sympathetic.
Same sex marriage. Ok two people who love each other who happen to be of the same sex getting married bothers me much less than two people who feel nothing for each other and the marriage is based on sexual attraction and money or the fact that they were drunk and there happened to be a wedding chapel around the corner. shut up. I know the bible says it's wrong but i'm betting neither God nor Jesus wants a human being to be tied to a fence and pistol whipped to death. If i'm wrong, sucks to be me, but i don't care.
The bottom line is no matter what you think, do or say, someone is around who disagrees with you. there may even be someone who is offended by it. There's nothing to be done. We naturally have a quarrelsome side to us. but if you wanna fight about something, please fight about something that matters to you personally there is too much strife in this world as it is do you really have to add to it? May 04 Hey guysi think i'm going to try to lighten my mood a little, i tried to pick a different theme on here but this is the only one i like, ain't that a bitch? Anyway i'm bored so i'll probly just ramble on here for a while. I'm doing well in school and my story is going ok, I'm over 65 pages now. The rest of my life is fine to all those wondering. i have a lot of assignments to think about. I'm in chemistry, biology, english and a family issues class. they all want a piece of me and bio seems the worst. I'm still doing pretty well though, incredibly and i'm going to relax this weekend. i am definitely sleeping in tomorrow. i might crash early tonight too. I'll see. well i'll check in later. December 17 New storyI've started a new story, this one is about vampires, i know, i know, but this one isn't going to be white noise, i'm really putting a lot into this one and i hope everyone recognizes the work that goes into it. My friend says she loves, maybe she'd biased but i think it's ok too. Things are going well with my life and i know that eventually something will bring me down but i'll enjoy this while i can. Check you all later. December 03 I think I might wanna be a writer.I'm working on a story that i want to write out, everyone who's seen it really likes it if there are parts they don't care for as much, one girl said she cried when she read when one character died, i'm only five pages in. I already have another idea for an entirely different story too. the one who heard just the basic idea and the parts i already have made up already wants to read it, of course i think i can only work on one project at a time without having them get similarities or even intersect at some point. i don't know but i'm loving the idea of it. I'll come back when on here when i'm rich and famous, so don't expect to see me ever again, lol just kidding, i'll come back soo enoug, i've been busy lately but i think i'm gonna be better now. C y'all later bye. September 27 What Is Love?How do you know when you like someone and when you love them? Is love simply a step up from liking? These are definitions from psychologists which helps me because I think too much and this gives validation to what i believe and also i like that this was said by professionals.
Like: an affectionate feeling towards a person that you think of as intellectually or morally good. When we like a person, the emphasis is on evaluating the person.
Love: love is a strong affection for another person that is based on: 1. attachment(a powerful desire to be with the other person), 2. caring( a willingness to make sacrifices for the sake of the other person), and 3. intimacy( a union or bond between two people).
According to another psychologist, there are 3 major components of love. 1. intimacy( self disclosure through the sharing of emotions, experiences, and personal information), 2. passion( erotic interest and sexual relations), and 3. commitment( the desire to stay with your partner).
I think that all seems pretty true, what's your opinion? |
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